Sunday, April 30, 2006

April 30th... What a Mess!

As I sit here among a mess, I'm wondering how did it get this bad. We have been in a construction zone since DECEMBER when our basemet bathroom addition started. Bad contractors, bad luck, and too much stuff is why it is this messy. That in addition to a husband who doesn't know how to clean up after himself, and has no organization skills.
I think if I sent him and the girls away for a week and got this whole house organized, like when one of those shows comes to your house like Clean Sweep, my house would be trashed again in one month.
It seems that number 2 daughter has created a bit more responsibility than I remember number 1 daughter being at this age, and I just can't seem to find the time to do all that needs to be done.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bit depressed, and maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time motivating. I also so feel overwhelmed, and I think that stops me before I even get started. And lastly, I think I'm being a bit passive agressive towards my husband because deep inside I blame him for everything that's wrong, or at least I blame him for not being more on the ball and noticing and remembering things that he can contribute to.
When we were married, he wasn't as overwhelmed, didn't have his own business, and seemed more connected to me... 8 years later, 2 kids later, 1 self-employed business later, and 1 bathroom addition later, he just isn't able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds, that is anything except business, personal health, food, personal belongings, and bathroom additon and anything that he can get obsessive compulsive about! WHat a rant! I guess it just feels good to complain and get it all out. Perhaps I won't be such a bitch to him when he returns at some unacceptable hour this evening only to have something very pressing that will take up even more of our precious family time!

Friday, April 28, 2006

April 28, 2006 The day of my blogging debut...

So, I've been hanging out and reading some really great mommy blogs (what about mommy, Irene's Scene, crouching mommy hidden laundry,chicky, chicky baby,and dooce), and have enjoyed them alot! And I've been thinking that I'd really like to have an outlet for all of my thoughts... it's kind of getting crowded up there inside of my head. Some have said that I have a way with words, so we'll see if anyone reads my blog and agrees. If no one reads, that's okay too, because I will feel better telling someone (even if it's just myself) my thoughts without being interrupted. 10 month olds and 4 1/2 year olds have a way of not understanding a mommy's need to be listened to, atleast not the things she wants to tell... they just aren't the appropriate audience. And my husband.... well, sometimes he has the attention span of a flea. That is unless it's a topic that revolves and directly has something to do with something that will benefit him! So, here goes....

Today is the start of a weekend that I will be left alone to deal with the little lovies yet again. One of my famous quotes is that I don't like being a single parent. But apparently my quote is not heard because this is the 2nd weekend in a row that I have been left to fend for myself. Now, Don't get me wrong, I love my girls. We have fun, and I am learning to just relax and not worry about all of the chores and bills to pay, laundry to do and all of those types of things that I don't quite have the time to do when I get home from work during the week. BUT, I want to have fun as a family too! My hubby just doesn't get it. When I complain, he says,"I know, next weekend you can go and do anything you want, I 'll watch the girls all day." This is not what I want! I tell him this, and he says he understands, but yet never shows any signs of understanding!
My relationship with my hubby and my marriage will be a topic that I write a lot about because currently it is something that is on my mind a majority of the time these days.
I decided to name my blog mommy!mommy!mommy! because many days I feel like the mom of 3, husband included as 3rd child.
Well, I think my first post rambled a bit, but I WILL clarify my thoughts and figure out how I want to do this!