Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A higher being is speaking to me...

So, I reread my previous rant, oops, I mean post, and perhaps I was a bit dramatic too. But, boy did it feel good to vent and get it off of my chest!
The evening after I wrote that post, my family went to swim at a friend's pool. My dear husband assured me that my friend would not be there. And, guess who was the first person to greet me when we got there? You guessed it! I could not make eye contact with her because in my mind I had had a big argument with her, and I was afraid if I looked at her, I might just let it all out, and then who would be the big, bad friend? Me! of course.
So I immersed myself in my children and swam and had a wonderful time, and spoke very little to her. I thought I might get a phone call asking me about my not so usual unfriendly behavior, but no phone call came...
I didn't hear from her on Sunday either. Then on Monday evening, she stopped by my house to pick up some bottles that I had told her she could have because we were done with them. She also wanted to tell me about her first day at her new job. I was not rude, but I definitely wasn't my usual friendly, supportive self. She explained that her husband was working on an investment property that they have purchased in hopes of fixing up and making lots of money. And that she was hoping that he'd be home soon so that she could tell him all about it. Later that evening, 10:00 to be exact, my husband was text messaged pictures of that husband and another friend eating, drinking, and having a lot of fun at the local Mexican restaurant
Then, last night my dear husband was working a little late, and my girls and I decided to go to the pool right after dinner. And guess who shows up right when we get there???? Yep, my friend again.
She started to tell me about her job some more, and how her husband had gotten home after she had gone to bed the night before so she hadn't been able to share her first day job stuff with him. I just listened, I don't want to be involved in that one. Then her son started telling other pool guests that they could not sit in certain chairs because he and my sweet girl were going to make forts. After the 5th time of harassing a nice woman and her son, and my sweet girl coming to me and telling me what was happening... I stepped in and told my friend's little boy that the seats were for everyone, and that there were plenty to go around. Then I apologized to the mom and her little boy. My friend then came over and kind of laughed it off, perhaps out of embarrassment. I remained quite reserved, and did not have lots to say, just listened. She claimed that she was worried that her son might have ADD and need medicine because of his inability to pay attention to a swim lesson in a crowded pool. I only replied that I've worked with many children who have attention issues, and that medicine isn't always the answer, there are lots of ways to help.
Within minutes, my friend's son started to throw water at a child that was 3 years younger than he was because the little girl was trying to sprinkle water on him and my sweet girl. This episode ended with him having a fit, hitting her, and screaming and then her saying that they were leaving. Sound familiar? Except for this time, I just distanced myself, felt bad for her, felt bad for him, and said good bye.
So, what have I learned about myself is that I just need to separate myself from this said friend every once in awhile so that she doesn't drive me crazy. I also need to realize that I am a different person and we have different standards for what is considered rude and and not friend-like, based on her behavior and mine. And lastly, there is a higher source who puts me in the places that I need to be so that I can get a better perspective on things....

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

OR...take a deep cleansing breath and chant OHMMMMM! Sadly, I think people grow up and often grow apart, as we are not the same as we were when we were six years old. You are the bigger person that handled the situation in a mature, adult fashion. Congrats!

Me! said...

You know, my feng shui just gets out of whack when I'm feeling the stress! :-)

Anonymous said...

Time for some reflection, take a moment and ask yourself why this friend and these moments are frustrating. There is something within that is troubling you, not this friend and her behaviors. It's okay, we are all constantly improving ourselves ... you are not alone. Stop judging others and focus on getting more comfortable with who you are and what your strengths and improvables are. Be still and bloom where you are planted.

Matthew 25 ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

Anonymous said...

Do you really know "Jocine" or did she search for a biblical phrase and get your posting? Just wondering.

Anonymous said...

I echo It's sentiment. Friends often grow up and apart. Enjoy what you can of your friend and don't waste your or your family's time with the unpleasantness.

Me! said...

Don't know Jocine. Thanks for your input Miss Kitty and LT. And, Jocine, thanks for giving me a different perspective, not sure if I agree or not, but it's good to hear other perspectives too.